And so...

another summer come and gone or going atleast. Ive sepnt the last week making all the arrangements for our next place, which were moving into this friday. Christopher and i are both very excited to be getting our own place, with out a different roomate each week. We were also relieved to find out that when the airforce has orders for thier airmen that force them to change locations they pay for a move for them, 8000 lbs for free. So, that means we dont have to refurnish this place from absolutely nothing like we thought we were going to have to. Christophers mom is being very helpful and is sending a ton of other stuff along with all of his thing, so that is very cool. We still need to get a couch, so dont make any travel plans yet kartmazovs (or oakley). The only hitch for the whole thing is that we have no clue when the stuff is comming. It has to be with in 30 days of the request, and it may be like within a week or 2.. but we really have no idea. Ahh how fun. .. the joy of surprise.

We'll have our new phone and cable and internet all set up by wednesday next week, so ill most likely dissapear friday and ill be back online by wednesday (for those of you who see me on msn -- or those of you who rag on me when i go a day or 2 without blogging -- ahem..oakley, kat). When i return, I imagine ill be even more crazy than i currently am.. being with out any furniture, cable, phone, or internet for 5 days. Those that know me, know that i wont handle that well. It will be alot of long days playing solitare on the laptop. But, the new place is on the other side of the hill that the base is on though, so well be closer to a new town called pacific grove. than we are to monterey though technically were still in monterey. Anyways... ill have a new "city" to go check out.

On a different note.. i thought id give you all another fart update, as i know how entertaining fart humor is to my classy friends. Christopher and i went to rent a movie from the local place we go to, a small store with three different rooms for different types of movies. We were in the action section, a tiny little room off the main room, just me Christopher and some random asian man... Christopher was hanging out in the doorway, i was on the other side of him, and the guy was on the other side of me, not but 3 feet away. Christopher FARTED!! I mean he really let one rip too! The man looked up wide eyed at me, and then quickly back at the wall of movies. I looked over to Christopher, to give him hell... and he wasnt there!! I then realized that he slipped out the door way as soon as he did it, leaving the little asian man to think that it was I that cut the cheese!.... man i could have died. I literally ran out of the little action movies room (where all the action was that night) and into the comedy room where Christopher was hiding (the little comedian that he thinks he is), seriously enjoying his little prank -- laughing his little ass off. I could have killed him. Whats worse is i had to go back into the action room to get the movie i wanted and the man was still in there. I didnt even look to see if he looked up at us the second time -- i just ran in and out -- movie in hand. Anyway, im begining to think that maybe that the Fart Man really is Christopher. Arent i lucky to have such a witty man? har har har...

better late than never

OK.... for some strange reason the beach pics from like forever ago are finally uploading (and ive tried like 4 billion times). This is the beach up a ways from my place, like a 15 minute drive north. And just on the other side of that sand cliff is a strip mall, and a highway. Its so strange to have something so beautiful by something so .. urban.

Here is the picture of the parasailer or glider or whatever the hell theyre called.
Cool eh?

I want to try it, but I dont think christopher is a big fan of that idea.

And those are some of the pictures of the beach. I got a new camera for my birthday (thanks mom), so im guessing the next few posts will be picture happy. Providing i can get this uploading thing to work again.

There is no such thing as coincidences

You know, ive never been one to get wrapped up with conspiracy theories, and yet id never ignore one either. My friend Tom brings up an interesting point about the ass picker being the fart guy. A few weeks ago in the gym, christopher and I were walking down the hall to the stairs, and we heard this random PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. I have no clue who did it, we didnt see the culprit as we were already turning on to the stairway. I didnt really think much of it at that time, but last week when we were at the movies, just as the lights were dimming, yes.. you got it, another nasty PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. In the gym's weight room just on this past monday, im lifting weights so i cant turn around... and what do i hear? ohhh yeah.... PFFFFFFFFFFFT. Some one with terrible gas is following me. As this moment I have officially named him "Fart Man". He is a super hero with only one super power -- he can clear a room in under 3 seconds.

"hit that racket ball with that racket"

Hello blog land people. Ive been trying to motivate myself to blog for a while now, and just havent been able to pull it off. When im out and about something remotely funny will happen, and ill say "oooo when i get home im going to blog about that" but of course i never do. For instance, one afternoon last week, christopher and i were at the gym, we were walking down the hall from the weight room to the stairs to leave. The hall has racket ball courts on one side of it, and people occasionally stand out in the hall watching the games... as it was this day. The hall is fairly long, about 4 or 5 racket ball courts long, and as we were leaving there was a man at the last court watching intently as 2 army boys hammered the little ball against the back wall. He was fairly far away, but not so far that I couldnt tell he was doing something to his ass, that he probably shouldnt be doing. As i got closer i could tell that he was attempting to dislodge his underwear from his butt. He had on those short shorts gym shorts, and had his hand up the side/back of them, digging away. Right as we got up to him, he realised he wasnt alone in the hallway, right at the same time he had his hand over his poop shoot. I mean.. seriously.. it was right back there. He looked at us, in shock.. and then back at the court and then back at us and said in an encouraging type chant to the payers behind the glass that cant hear him "ummm hit that racket ball with that racket". He continued to chant this more than obvious goal of the game to players that couldnt hear him until we passed and were up the stairs and out of ear shot. Now.. dont get me wrong. Im all about the comfort, AND im a female, so i know about uncomfortable undies all too well.. but for god sakes people... go OUTSIDE your clothes to adjust your self. OUTSIDE.

So, Ni has left for her vacation, and wont be back until after i leave. I WAS looking forward to having the house to ourselves.. ya right. Her house guest is away for this week, because Ni invited some one to sublet her room for this week. Then of course the house guest is comming back. so.. no time alone. The new roomate is very chatty. When she isnt chatting me up, or christopher.. her cell phone is glued to her head. Seriously, yesterday, I was helping Christopher with his homework, and she comes out and starts asking random questions about the DLI (the language base). If that wasnt enough, later, when christopher was sleeping, and i was doing some sit ups she comes out to go to the bathroom, but instead sees me doing situps and says "ooo i should do that, excersize really makes you feel good... how many do you do.. i took a salsa class once, you really have to use your Abs for that..." and on and on.. i seriously didnt say a thing, i mean im counting to 100, and im somewhere around 50, i dont want to stop, or god forbid lose count. But, its a condundrum right, cause i dont want to listen to her either. Then of course my mean side comes out, and my mind starts wandering...and all i can think is "put your money where your mouth is fatty and excerize if it feels soo good" or "how do you know what excersize feels like blimpo..your one salsa lesson?" Man, im glad i dont say horrible things like that. Im sure its bad enough that i think them, but.. its been well established im already going to hell -- so whats it matter.

i almost died

So, i woke up today... earlier than most days, and any one that really knows me well knows that i like my sleep. The more the better, and when its cut short, im really just not very nice at all. I rolled over, me and Christopher shared a nice little morning breath kiss, then some how miss coordinated our movements, and i SMOKED my nose on the back of his head so hard that i saw stars. I should have known then... but im a trooper so, i got up and tried to start breakfast. After trying to interact for a short 5 minutes i decided it would probably be a better idea (for me and the rest of the world) if i just went back to bed. So.. fully clothed in my SFU sweats -- hoodie drawn as far over my head as it would go, to try to cut out some light -- i went back to sleep. I got up a short hour later, with a splitting headache, and massive pain in my left eye. I went to the mirror, i was sure that i had hit my face so hard that i had a black eye, but thank god i didnt.. it was just the tiniest bit swollen. So.. i got up, made breakfast... the day was progressing much better with my second try at it, but my eye was seeming to get worse and worse. I took an extra strength advil, and layed down for a bit, and took a nap (sleep -- the cure for everything). I woke up, feeling much better the third time around now, and we got ready and went to go see the new Robin Williams movie, the night listener. I should have known that it was going to suck, just by my morning. OK, it didnt suck, but i was dissapointed. Thats a different story though, im telling a story about how i almost died. Dont you get me off track. OK.. where was i... Ohh yeah, ok so.. after the movie, my eye was reallly starting to hurt again.. my nose was starting to run.. i felt like i had a fever.. i thought maybe i was getting the flu or something. By the time we got home, it felt like i was gunna die.
I laid on the couch and considered going to sleep yet again, and seeing if a fourth try to the day may help my circumstances, but i just got an advil instead. I sat back down, took off my hoodie, and like a minute later, Christopher pointed at something on the carpet beside me and my hoodie and said "look". I looked.. it was a BEE.. a dead bee! He picked it up and threw it out, and you know what the fucker was missing? You got it kids, his stinger.. and you know where it was? Yup you guess it again, it was in my fucking bottom eye lid, like a millimeter from my eye. My hero pulled out the stinger, and it felt better right away... dont get me wrong.. it still hurts like hell.. but it doesnt feel like im going to die anymore atleast. So, im left wondering, when did the bee sneak into my hoodie? How did he sting me without me noticing? Would he have stung me if i didnt go back to bed? The only answer i could come up with is "damn, i hate bees".

oh yeah

in my angry rant i forgot to actually post some of the other things i wanted to. For instance... as requested.. here are a few pics from the beach last weekend. The sand cliffs are cool, and a popular place for these parachute people go.. parasailing? i dunno what its called -- but i sure wanna try it. I saw them the day my plane landed, and ive wanted to do it ever since.

On another note, i also wanted update my links page to add this True stories blog i read. Its got some pretty crazy stories posted on it... and the guy is a good writer. IF for some reason i cant figure out how to update my side bar links, here is his blog address
http://truestoriesblog.blogspot.com/

I guess thats about it folks. Now if i can just get these damn pics to upload im outta here.

Time to elaborate

Man, have you ever wished that other things besides merchandise had a 30 day back return policy? I want my old roomate back, the exchange was a rip off! Shes been here less than a week, and already there are panties hanging in the bathroom, shes moved all my stuff off the sink counter to make room for her facial creams and cleansers and crap. She used metal silverwear in my nonstick tephlon pots. She's using my spices, cooked with my honey, eaten my noodles (because they were "chinese noodles, so i thought they werent yours") she has a house guest thats here for an undertermined amount of time.. who is going to stay here while Ni is out of town. This morning the 2 of them were doing jazzercise on the shared deck we have out side our bedrooms at 8AM!!! Our deck has a gravel top layer, so, the sound was reminescent of nails on a chalk board for me -- a horrible gritty grinding. And one of the most frustrating things, though i dont know why it is... is she opened a thing of hand soap that my old roomate gave to me. You know how those pump bottles need to be cracked open, like how you need to twist the pump for it to pop out and you can use it? Well the bitch popped my pump and used my soap. It seems like one of the most petty of things that she has done to be mad about, but god.. im MAD. Christopher has urged me to say something to her about all of it.. and if i was living here for a long term period with her i would have to say something, but as it is i think ill just turn a blind eye, and blog as relieve to my anger. Contrary to popular belief i hate confrontation (unless whiskey is involved -- hence why i dont drink anymore). So, i dont really want to be all confrontational if i can avoid it. I mean im only here for 20 more days. I think i may have gotten the point across today when they were jazzercising, and i ripped my blinds back, and glared at them menacingly, in my pajamas, my morning hair sticking up every which way. Last night, i set up camp in the living room, watching TV till the wee hours of the morning so her house guest would be forced to sleep in her room. I staked my territory and I won that battle. So.. yeah.. thats my experience with my new roomate Ni so far. Its a good thing i watch so many crime drama shows where the murderer always gets caught because of forensic evidence or this chick would already be somewhere pushing up daisies.

long time no blog

hello my blog readers.. it feels like forever since ive posted anything. Things are good here in sunny california -- actually sunny for a change. Speaking of change -- im in the midst of a roomatge change over. Im trading in my chinese roomie for another chinese roomie. I wanted an upgrade, but in the end decided Id stay with the same model, just something a little newer, and maybe with out the defective bowels. My new roomates name is Nee or Ni im not sure how she spells it, but everytime i say it I have to fight the urge to chant "We are the knights who go NEE". So far i have been successfull but really its only a matter of time. Speaking of moving... yes its that time, my sublet is running out at the end of the month, so Ive been apartment huntung. Christ i thought it was expensive to live in vancouver -- it doesnt even come close to some of the rents ive seen here. But, I think weve found a place, and its only a 5 minute walk from base, and has a fantastic view of the bay. I think we'll take it, if only because its the only one weve seen for under 1000$. We spent almost all of last weekend at the beach, it was phenomenal (besides the dead bird i almost stepped on when we were playing frisbee). I got some pics here that ill load up sooner than later. Well.. i guess thats all i have to say for now... thanks for all your comments everyone! Miss you all lots - t -

Im going to hell

OK, against better judgment, im posting about a dream i had last night. It was one of those crazy realistic epic dreams, that leave you more tired that not when you wake up, but as with many dreams I have forgotten most of the details already. So.. yeah.. im stalling. I feel guilty about this dream -- horrified really -- and didnt want to tell anyone, but, ugh.. yeah ok here it goes. I had this dream last night that i rolled a dude in a wheel chair out into the street, his chair tipped over, where i then proceeded to leap on him, kicking the crap out of him.. and like, were talking a classic east van beating, not a whimpy chick-hair pulling-slapping beating. In the dream, the dude was sinister -- a truely evil man, though now i cant remember what it was that he did that made him so evil. But it was one of those dreams where only you know that the person was a bad person, everyone else just sees you rolling a helpless man into oncomming traffic and giving him the beating of his life.

make sure to always wear clean underwear

This last week, i read something posted by a wise lady that asked "when you die, are you stuck in heaven wearing the clothes that you died in for eternity?" And after the classic is there or is there not a heaven debate, the following critical questions went through my head, in this order:

1. Oh great.. do I have to worry about dressing myself in heaven?
2. Do i have to be stylish..and colour coordinate?
3. Does that mean I have to do laundry in heaven?
4. Is it possible that everyone everyone just goes naked instead?
5. Are ugly people allowed to go naked?
6. Can we force people to wear something if they dont want to, but we want them too -- who's heavenly wishes out rank some one elses?
7. What if we ARE stuck wearing the same thing, and we were wearing what we were wearing because it was laundry day, and so our outfit is really uncomfortable.. or ugly.. or we have holes in our socks?
8. IF we have holes in our socks, do they get bigger?
9. If we dont have holes in our socks, do we get holes in our socks?
10. What if we were wearing sandles, and no socks, but its drafty in heaven, can you get socks?
11. If you can get socks, can you get other clothes? Or, are you stuck wearing the same clothes you die in for eternity!?

....It really does give a whole new meaning to that old moms' saying "always wear clean underwear, because you just never know".

"Stop!! Police!!!? Theft!!!!... That woman just stole my horoscopes!!!"

Howdy people. My friend Kat who many of you either know, or have read her posts, writes for the paper of the college i used to go to. Among other thigs, she writes the horoscopes. Lately shes been creating a themed horoscope, and the one for next month was too good not to post. Thanks Kat for these august horoscopes (even though you didnt give me persmission -- hehehe, i posted your pic so you could be more mad about that than me stealing your horoscopes)

VAN GOGH-O-SCOPES

(Written by Kat http://kaiaroha.livejournal.com/)

For those of you unfamiliar with this type of themed horoscope, an explanation is in order. I take a person of reknown, and then use their quotes to hurt you, or, less commonly, to make you happy. It's amazing how years later, the wisdom of the greats still holds true, even if not as originally intended. Sure, some may call it irreverant, or a huge perversion of the original meaning, but i like it like that- perverse, dirty and wrong.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 19)"I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate." I think you should get these words tattooed prominently across your back, Aquarius, as when it comes to you, truer words have never been written. (Well, except maybe the stuff i write about you in my blog, all about how you never call me, and try to make me cry- that's pretty true too.) You were born to travel, to have adventures; you were born for an extraordinary life. I promise i won't fuss too much about you leaving, well, not to your face anyways.

PISCES (Feb 20-Mar 20)"Conscience is a man's compass," which is good news for those Pisces who actually HAVE a conscience. You do what you know to be right, follow your heart instead of the dictates of others, and look at the happiness you've found! For the rest of you soulless bastards out there, what can i say? You're going to hell. Fry fucker.

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19)"I wish they would only take me as I am." It'd be nice hey? I guess it just goes to show that some things never change: there's always going to be people judging us, making assumptions, and being all around pricks. There's only one thing you can do- ignore them, and don't let the bastards get you down. Well, that's the only legal thing anyways!

TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20)"Love is something eternal, the aspect may change, but not the essence." Love may not conquer all, but the ability to love can overcome despair, and give us back to ourselves. I think the only thing that matters is that we still love, despite risk, pain and disappointment. You're doing just fine, sweetheart.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21)"As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting difficulties the innermost strength of the heart is developed." Let's hope Vincent knew what he was talking about Gemini. You've been through hell recently, but things have to get better. Until then...well, we measure success in survival these days. (This too shall pass.)

CANCER (June 22- July 22)"Great things are not done by impulse, but a series of small things brought together." Like going to Uni, doing your undergrad, then your MA, and now your bloody PhD. OK, we get it, you're not only brilliant but diligent as well. You just keep going until you get what you want, which in my opinion is the mark of an obsessive personality. Ah well, you know what they say about success- it's 10% inspiration, 40% determination, and 50% being willing to bump off all those fuckers who get in your way. Oh, and i think having a wicked MySpace page helps. Fine, and being incredibly handsome and brilliant and talented. I guess that helps too.

LEO (July 23-Aug 22)"What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?" Wow, a more apt quote for you couldn't exist. For those Leos who had the strength to follow their hearts, even to strange, if not so distant lands, i have nothing but admiration for you. You had the courage to take a risk, and look at all you've gained. For those Leos that have neither strenghth nor faith- an empty life is punishment enough. (An empty life and a kick in the balls, that is.) SO much to look forward to!

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sept 22)"If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." However, if you hear a voice that says "you cannot kill hobos", you probably shouldn't. Sure, killing will silence the voices...for a while. But then they'll come back, demanding ever more hobo blood, and the madness will continue. Or, that voice might, just might be your conscience. Or the cops. Think about it (the cops bit, not all that lovely, lovely hobo blood). Medication is a good thing.

LIBRA (Sept 23-Oct 22)"... whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well." Fits you to a "t"... I don't know what any of us would do without you.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21)"In the end we shall have had enough of cynicism and skepticism..and we shall want to live more musically." I think it's time you allowed yourself time to find out what it is that you want to do. Escape the cynicism of the city, the tedium of daily routine, and go stare at the stars for a while. And then come back, more rested, happier...just remember to come back.

SAGGITARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21)"I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day." Well, that's certainly true of the Downtown Eastside at any rate- if by "alive" he means teeming with crackheads, and "richly coloured" is interpreted as loud and smelling of urine. Ah, life in all it's diverse splendor is certainly represented in our neighbourhood! Serenaded to sleep every night by the sound of sirens, and addicts arguing in the alley below- it's like living poetry.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19)"The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others." Nothing could be more true about you, sweet Capricorn.Though at the moment, i think the way you love yourself is pretty artistic too! (you're my favourite distraction) Your love is perfection, endless grace, redemption; any who have it are blessed in countless ways. Everlong.

*Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890) was a renowned artist, as famous for his depression as he was for his works of art. Perhaps best known for his painting "Starry Night", and for chopping off his own ear, Van Gogh remains one of the most acclaimed and influential artists in recent history. You should know all of this already- your parents must be very disappointed that they saved up money for your college education. It's all wasted on you.The horoscopes are written by KHOBE, who would love to hear from you, in the form of a note sent to the Gleaner office, or an email to stopitloser@hotmail.com. Not that i don't appreciate the sentiment behind the 4 am phone calls, with the heavy breathing, or the dead roses on my front step. I can tell you're a romantic at heart, and i love the attention. I'd just prefer something in writing (something i can take to the cops). Send me theme requests, feedback, or passionate declarations of love. And Pisces, nobody cares, so stop whining.

And who said online tests arent accurate

OK, so i was checking out one of the blogs from the great blog experiment, and found this "nerd test" at a blog site called ricardo's realm, http://ricardosrealm.blogspot.com/.

My Score Summary

• Overall, I scored as follows:
• 78% scored higher (more nerdy), and 22% scored lower (less nerdy).

What does this mean? My nerdiness is: Not nerdy, but definitely not hip

T rides the short bus

Oh where to begin where to begin. I sure did have a full day today, starting with denny's breakfast (which is always a gong show in itself). After Breakfast we headed over to some department store, so i could get some clothes to help me tollerate this heat a bit better, and i swear the change rooms may as well have had a sign that said "Children's play area: No rules need apply" I mean it was seriously a free for all. There was this one little brat doing cartwheels down the corridor of the change room. Another one screeming and running around in circles. 2 kids holding another hostage in one of the change rooms by barring the door (which i have to admit i did find mildly amusing). I changed and got the hell out of there as soon as i could, but not before this one kid who was about 10 years old KICKED me! i dont know if she thought she was chuck norris, or if she was trying to immitate a ballerina.. but i seriously considered throat punching the brat. Hell if your old enough to start it, your old enough to get beat down. Right?
Later on that day, we were walking along in this parking lot and saw this really weird looking seagull. It was grey, and wouldnt fly away -- it was just kinda hopping along. Then out of no where this huge ass seagull dive bombs us, then lands on a roof of the building beside us and the grey gull. It started making this really strange noise, like a little bark almost -- over and over -- while staring us down. It was then we figured out that the grey gull was a baby, and the feirce beast must be its protective mother. I tried to convince Christopher to go after the baby, i wanted to see what lengths the mama gull would go to to protect her baby, plus ive never seen any one attacked by a gull and thought that it may be kinda funny... but C saw right through my demented plot and wanted nothing to do with it. We walked past the baby gull and just for good measure the mama bird flew RIGHT at us one last time, just incase we didnt get the picture. Seriously, the thing flew RIGHT over our heads, and only like a foot above us! I thought it was gunna seek revenge and shit on us, but, we made it out of the parking lot safe.
We wanted to find an air conditioned refuge, so we decided to go see that new movie Lady in the Water. It was way too hot to walk up to the theatre so we decided to head to the bus loop to see when the bus left. The one bus that goes to the mall runs like once an hour, and we had just missed it. But me being the bus expert i am, went to the board to see if another bus went along the route to the mall... eureka.. the #54 did, and it was scheduled to leave in 2 minutes. We looked around and no bus was in site... except for this SHORT bus. I swear.. it said "shuttle bus" on the side, but it looked like a handi-dart bus. It was a short bus there is no way around it. I mean, we even had to ask if it was a normal bus and whether it stopped at the mall or not. It did, so we rode the short bus to the mall, and saw the movie, which I liked much better than the Village (which doesnt say much i guess). I was able to enjoy it alot more after i threatened some abnoxious teenagers. Seriously, you know the annoying group of teens that travel in a pack of about 9? Well thats who was in my movie theatre today. About 3 random people shoooshed these kids throughout the show, till finally i turned around and said "seriously, you wanna SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" I made eye contact with this one boy -- I believe he was the ring leader -- for an uncomfortable amount of time, and they actually shut up for 10 whole minutes. When they began to pipe back up the people directly behind me said "SHUT UP! youve been told like 4 times now -- GOD!". I gave the ring leader another evil glance, and they all got up (all 9 of em) and slunk out of the theatre. I guess they felt the immintent danger of the theatre as the croud gained strenth in numbers as they turned on them. I mean shit, its not like they need to worry about missing the ending, they talked through most of it anyway.
So yeah, in summary: denny's, abnoxios kids beating me and almost getting beat back, seagull attacks, short busses, and threatening abnoxious teens. Hows THAT for a blog entry.

blog experiments and death threats

OK, so awhile back I got a comment from this random person i didnt know regarding my creepy farting dude post. His name is morris (the stranger that left a comment, not the creepy farting dude).. upon reading his comment i realised that strangers could read my blog. Being the blog n00b that i am, i had not known that my blog could be viewed by people that didnt directly know my link. I didnt know i was listed in the blogspot.com listings or whatever they are called. Anyways, i checked out this guys blog, out of curiosity, and hes got this kinda neat experiment going on. Go to http://thegreatestblogexperiment.blogspot.com/ to check it out -- but basically its like a blog link page, to help increase traffic. I checked it out a few weeks ago, and he had like 10 posts (if that). Now, he's past 50. I found some interesting reading material there so far... and some crap, but i guess thats the way it is with life. So, some of you may be interested in this site -- others may not... but i figured that i'd give a post about it, as i have added him to my links list, and he is going to do the same for me.

As for life here... things are quiet, which is nice. But the down side of quiet is boredom. We have officially exausted all the things to do in monterey.. which really isnt alot. Being a fairly recent non-drinker Im finding it hard to adjust to finding things to do that dont include going to get wasted. What else is there to do in a military town? I mean, there are more bars here than there are gas stations, schools, and Mcdonalds all put together. I have to be honest, its hard not to fall back on drinking for something to do.

But, last night i had this dream that i got sooooo wasted that the day after i spent all day trying to figure out how i got a huge wad of cash in my pocket. I had pawned something very important and expensive off to someone, but because i was so drunk i couldnt remember what it was that i had sold. I woke up thankful that i dont have mornings where im trying to remember what i did the night before anymore, even if I do have some bored evenings. Ill take boredom over that shitty "what the hell did i do last night" feeling anytime -- some times it just takes a good nightmare to refresh your memory.

On a different note... I'd like to thank everyone that has taken the time to post comments in my blog. I feel so far away from home, from friends and family some times.. and i really get warm fuzzies when i read my comments. Keep em comming folks, cause if i ever get really really lonely and depressed.. and say i off myself.. you sure would feel guilty that you didnt post more often. Donchya think?

And yes mom.. i AM joking.

;)

random things and poop posts

Ok.. so you know your bored when things like this entertain you immensly.

http://teppo.tv/pelisali/index_en.html

Find 5 things that are different between the pictures. Click on the picture, where there is a difference. Your being timed so dont sit there like a moron like i did... you lose time for every mistake you make.

On a different note, I think my roomate has a sick colon. I never knew such nastiness could come out of such a nice little asian girl. So much for my theory that their craps look like hello kitty, or peekacho. Every morning that i go into the bathroom, there are fecal reminants sprayed across the bowl. I guess i should be thankfull that its the inside of the bowl. Seriously though, this morning, there was the usual "spray array", as well as some left over turd floaties. I mean... come on now, what ever happened to the 2 flush courtesy rule?

happy independence day

Ok im totally pissed. I just wrote this HUGE post about my first forth of july and somehow while i was working on it this yahoo search site popped up, navigating me away from my posting page. I frantically hit BACK over and over, and of course its gone, my awesome post is gone and lost forever. Man that pisses me off. And its not like i was only half way thru, i was finnishing up. ARG. In fact, im so pissed im not even going to try to recreate my awesome last entry, and instead ill leave you with something ive been mulling over today. Why do americans call independence day "fourth of july" in conversation? I mean, no one says "happy independence day" they all say "happy fourth of july". Canadians dont say "happy july first" they say "happy canada day". In fact, no other holiday is refered to by its date, instead of its holiday name. Could you imagine? "Happy december 25th!" I mean, its just strange dont you think?

excuse me sir, you dropped something

Ok so, get this... me and christopher are sitting on a bus stop bench killing time before he has to head into the base. This guy walks by, kinda meandering. He gets like 3 feet past us and he just stops. I look at christopher, he looks at me -- were both like, what the fuck -- and the dude stands there for like what seemed like an eternity, even though it was only like a minute. Just as i leaned over and wispered "what the hell is he doing?" HE FARTED. And, im not talking about no little poot here, were talking like full on Pttttttttttthhh pttt pt. Then buddy just walked away, back to his meandering pace -- crossed the road -- then paused again for like 45 seconds (i think its safe to assume he dropped another stink bomb). Now, ive heard about people who have a hard time walking and chewing gum, but.. walking and farting!? I mean seriously who cant do that? maybe he was chewing gum as well, and the combination of the three things was just too much for the poor fella. Or maybe he just likes to savor his farts.

fire, fire!

So, the thrill of the blog is finally wearing off, and im down to one reluctant post a week. Ah, the joy of things getting old quick.
I went to get my nails done this morning, and as the woman was sticking on the fake nails to my own, huge sparks started raining down on us from the light above -- all the while making an awful hissing and popping noise. We both made a mad dash for the doorway and when we looked back the florescent light above where we had been sitting was actually on fire. Thats about the most excitment ive had all week -- not that im complaining, normally excitment in my life can be equated with very bad things so, a little peace is always welcome.
They have a new series on TV here, dont know if you kids in canada get it or not, but its based on the movie Blade. Anyways, its really cheesy, but i watched it last night only to realise that its filmed in vancouver. It made me home sick. I was fine til i saw the skytrain, and pigeon park.. ah the fine memories of those places.
Hope all is well with everyone... and thanks for all the movie suggestions -- so far ive ignored em all and rented the machinist and one called the jacket. We havent watched the jacket yet, but i recommend the machinist (even though i thought it was kinda slow). Anyway... until next week -- aye aye and goodbye.

"insert witty title here"

You know, im not sure what is more lame -- that ive only gotten TWO comments on my blog so far, or that like half of you dont know who mr furley was. Thats gotta be the route cause of whats wrong with the world today, no Jack Tripper to guide developing minds. Alas, what shall we do!? Anyway, I went to go rent a scary movie this weekend and couldnt pick one, so i asked the guy that worked there and he recommended "zombie honeymoon", needless to say i rented the exorcism of emily rose instead. It was alright i guess, but i had just seen the DaVinci code the day before -- so watching TV commercials for 18 hours straight with a wedding singer wailing boy george in my ear at the same time would have been alright too in comparison. Surely some of you cool cats can suggest the next flick i should rent so im not actually forced to rent something thats named zombie honeymoon!

one week down, a lifetime to go

Well, my first week is officially over, and what better way to spend it than with canadian friends -- tom and mel -- who are in town on their honeymoon, traveling the west coast. They stopped into monterey for the night, we perused the farmers market (which happens every tuesday), then ate at papa chano's which is only the best mexican place ive EVER eaten at. And god did we eat. Then we went for ice cream and walked and talked. It was really great to see some familiar faces. Its like, when you go somewhere foreign you can sorta lose yourself; you question what it is to be you when the people you use to ground yourself arent around. It was awesome seeing them... it helped me to see that just because things and choices in my life are changing, i am still me... the witty girl we all know and love named susan.. oh, wait.. i mean tiresa.

my landlord is mr furley

...and im totally not kidding... this afternoon I walked up the stairway to my apartment -- outdoor stairs that lead to the small hall that connects my apartment with the landlords -- as i get half way up the stairs i see a man with a california sun weathered face, knocking on my door. A man wearing 70's style large plaid patterned baige slacks. In fact, the pants were so stunning that i've forgotten what his shirt looked like. In one hand, he was was holding a crystal glass with 3 ice cubes and four fingers of burbon... a marlboro in the other. He stayed and spoke with me only briefly, yet he left an impression on me that is sure to last a life time.

The best weekend ever

... infact it was so good that I dont even know where to start. I swear living here, its just like being in the movies (except i'd drive a fancy car). I guess though, its kinda neat walking as much as we do, today we walked along the beach path over to a place called Cannery Row. My dogs sure are barking, but it was well worth it to see all the different beach places. The sand at these beaches is not at all like the vancouver beaches... its so fine, so soft in comparison. We spent alot of the weekend by the beach, friday night we walked down the other way, to the acutal monterey bay..
and we watched the sunset. After, we went into downtown (i remind you there is only one main road in downtown) and we shared an ice cream waffle cone. Last night we went for chinese, tried a new place out.. and although it was a tad more authentic, they were too played classical music -- maybe its a local thing.
Everyone here is so nice... they all say hello or smile when you pass them. Its so great. Its one of my favorite parts of being here -- the people. That and the stars. I forgot what the night sky looked like out of a big city. Theres stars EVERYWHERE. Its totally cool. Now, if only the tap water didnt taste like dead things life would be totally perfect.
;)

"what kind of meat is this"?

OK.. so Christopher comes down to my place for lunch today, soup and a sandwich -- nothing special. We had picked it up at the rainforest safeway yesterday; the soup was called pepper pot. I'd never heard of it, but it looked sort of like beef and barley, and Christopher wanted to get it. Hell what do I care. So.. were having our lunch, and im first to try the soup... the meat in it looked kinda like chinese style bbq pork. I asked Christopher:
"did you notice what kind of meat was in this soup"
Naw" he replies.. "why"?
"Cause it doesnt look like beef" I answer.
"its probably pork"
I thought it looked like pork, and was fairly satisfied with that answer, so i had another bite - trying to avoid the meat and just get some of the veggies. But, there was so much meat in it, i decided to focus on my sandwich instead -- which I was certain was ham. Christopher, having devoured his sandwich already, moved on to the soup. He had about 3 bites before he asked:
"Do you think its pork"?
I laughed, "Im really not sure"
He got up and got the campbells can out of the garbage and asked,
"Whats Tripe"?
I quickly covered my mouth scared i was going to puke...
"dear god tell me your joking"
"why!? Whats tripe"!?

Needless to say, I promptly lost my appitite, threw the rest of the soup out.. and tried not to think about it for the rest of the day. Christopher is NEVER going to be incharge of choosing the soup ever again.

... I have a lemon tree in my back yard...

OK.. so it's not really in my backyard.. its in my neighbour's back yard, but some of the lemons hang over the edge of the fence, so that means their mine right? Ive never seen a lemon tree before -- and im not sure if its because im still in shock about being in californ-i-a but i sure think the lemon tree is cool. I sat outside on the balcony that over looks our back "yard" and played my guitar in the sun today facing the lemon tree, playing a homage to it. Christopher and I didnt make it on the picnic today, time just seems to fly too fast. We went to the pub by the base for lunch, and oh my god I had the BEST california chicken burger Ive ever had (cheesy i know but i had to order it). It was a bit strange being the ONLY civilian in the place, besides the staff. The presidio (aka the DLI, aka Christopher's base/school) is on top of a huge hill, and when they play the songs that they broadcast across the base you can hear them all the way down at my house. Im glad that the 7am reveiller went un-noticed by me this morning. Taps was beautiful though. They play it every night at 10 pm in remembrance to those who have fallen. It was almost erie. I walked christopher back to base for his 10pm curfew, and jogged down the hill home after, and the song just broadcasted over the whole hill. It was like something out of a movie. I made it home from the base in 4 minutes at a really slow jog, so thats how close we are. Its so cool! We went to a pub for dinner tonight, and the oilers game was on. Go oilers! Anyway I met a fellow canadian, from Coquitlam no less. Nothing like hockey to bring canadians together. I enjoyed dinner, we sat at the window and i did some people watching. The city is filled with so many young people because there are so many schools here. Im enjoying myself, and am doing better adjusting than i thought i would. Now if i can only find a place to get some damn keys cut so i can venture out on my own with out needing to be back to let Adama in! Down town is so small i cant seem to find anywhere to do it!
Other than that, So far so good. Ill post some pictures soon. Promise.

June 13, 2006: Day one of the here and now

June 13, 2006
So… I made it to Monterey! The trip here wasnt so bad, I was in too much shock for even the 5 hours bus ride to seattle to bother me too much... I had some hassle at the border and was worried I wasn’t gunna make it thru, but obviously I did. The guy was a real dick but I guess that’s his job. Monterey is very quaint. Christopher met me at the airport, which was TINY! I even flew in on a propeller plane… and it was scary as hell. I can’t tell you all how happy he was to see me; he had the biggest smile ever! I’m sure we had matching ones. We just hugged and hugged right in the way of all the people getting off the plane (lol the whole 15 of them). Then we just hugged and hugged until everyone got their bags, except for the 2 people who had their luggage lost (thank god that wasn’t me). Then we grabbed a cab and came to my new place right away... dropped off my stuff and then we walked into downtown if you can call it that. It reminds me of gas town. All of downtown is probably smaller than gas town actually... but it’s really very quaint, and only like a 5-minute walk from my apartment. Overall the entire town is not too terribly small... it’s spread out – yay urban sprawl. The beach is beautiful!! I saw it as I flew in; there are these cool sand cliffs that people were parachuting off of. I guess it was like a cross between parachuting and Hang gliding. I told Christopher in the cab that I wanted to try it, and he promptly said he would get a motorcycle if I did; which we all know how thrilled I am about. On the main drag downtown they were having some sort of market in the street, with little vendors set up selling everything from fruits and veggies, to Bob Marley t-shirts and incense. It was very strange. Christopher and I walked thru the market, then down to the pier to look at the sea lions. The pier reminds me of some small town version of Coney Island with out rides. There were all these seafood restaurants, face painters, touristy stores, old-fashioned candy shops… it was neat. There is this look-out place at the end of the pier that overlooks this rocky part of earth that stretches out of the bay where the sea lions all lay out... a TON of em. They’re loud as hell too. Then we went for Chinese food. Not like Chinese in Vancouver that’s for sure…were talking American Chinese. I was surprised to see that Chinese people actually worked there. But, there were no chopsticks on the table, no hot chili sauce, they were playing classical music, and everyone else eating there was Mexican. It was very surreal, but nice, and we sat on the same side of the table and shared our dinners. You know its love if your willing to share your sweet and sour chicken. We walked the street market a bit again, which was completely packed and overwhelming and then opted to go to Safeway... I think I wanted something I was familiar with. Get this... in the produce section... you know how the water spray mist thing comes on to wet down the veggies? Well, in the Safeway here in Monterey... when it goes off… they play a thunder soundtrack, and they have a mini strobelight; its set up to mimic a thunderstorm. You can here it thru the whole place, but that’s not saying much – it’s the smallest Safeway I’ve ever seen in my life. Then we headed over to target to get me a towel and one of those "bed in a bag" things, as there are no sheets here for me to use. I guess Adama has stripped the bed so she has bedding for the couch, I asked her about it, and she just laughed. She does that a lot. She's African, but watches Spanish TV and laughs her ass off. French is her first language I think She speaks English fairly well, but I find that when we try to talk to one another more times than not she just giggles her ass off. It’s pretty comical – and I’m left wondering if she understands anything I’ve said. But she is incredibly nice, and I have a feeling Ive really lucked out here. She is leaving her computer behind, and has already said I can use it (and I’m sure you all know I jumped right on that opportunity). I have yet to meet the roommate that is actually gunna be here for the summer - Adama is the girl whose room I’m taking over -- she leaves on the 19th I think. She’s not even sure yet. Or maybe she has no clue what I'm saying when I ask her, who knows. So... that’s my day in a nutshell... spent way too much money, and I’m exhausted. I tried to unpack, but I decided to write this instead. Amazing the things you can do when you are trying to avoid doing a chore. Just like how my house would become spotless anytime I had an exam I needed to be studying for, or a paper that needed writing. Not much planned for tomorrow, Christopher and I have plans to pack a lunch and go somewhere. He gets 2 hours off for his lunches, and often gets released at around 3, with a 10 pm curfew. So, that’s pretty cool. It was hard saying good-bye tonight though. Just as it seems I am here now as well. I think I’ll be productive, and actually unpack so I can find everything I need in the morning.
Take care everyone. I miss you all!