Thursday, October 02, 2008

Um.. so this is a tad strange to be blogging about.. but

But i just found it too weird to talk to my friends about, so i thought that i would write about it instead. You know, some times you need to get things out to process them, and talking about it may just not be easy. So, thats when you blog. Some people write a journal, but i blog instead, what can i say...

OK, heres the deal. My brother, as some of you know, died when i was 12. As im sure you can imagine, it was, shall i say, the suck -- to put it eloquently. So, well.. i have always known, or have known, since my brother died, that when he was only a young teenager he had a baby that he and the mother put up for adoption. You know how you can put your contact name on the adoption information, so if the kid ever wants to contact his family he can? Well, after my brother died, my mom contacted the adoption agency to make sure her name was on the form, so if my brother's kid ever went looking for his family he wouldnt end up empty handed when he got to his dad's side.
Well.. the other day my mom gets a call from said agency, and sure enough, like a million years after the fact, this "kid" who of course is no longer a kid by any means (in fact he HAS kids - or at least one) has contacted the agency and wants to reach my mom. Long story short, of course its long already, he calls her, and they talk. Not only do they talk, but it turns out he has Face book, and they become friends on face book. So. Here is where i stand. This is the message on face book that i sent him:

So, i sat, staring at my computer screen, trying to decide what the hell i should write to my new found nephew. i started with something funny. i erased it. Then i wrote something serious. i erased that too. i guess i just find the whole thing just a little surreal (as im sure you do as well), and for one of the few times in my life, i wasnt quite sure what to say. Hi, My name is Tiresa, and .. we're related. Well... thats what i have settled on. Hi my name is Tiresa, and were related. Wait, didnt i say that already?
im 31, i am currently living in Omaha. i was born in Winnipeg, raised in Brandon, and moved to Vancouver when I was 14. i went to school, was valedictorian of my high school graduating class, took some time off, worked, went to college, then university, graduated and then married and moved to california when i was 29. i dont have kids, i have cats -- its easier to beat them with out getting in trouble. i work with at risk youth, which is the best birth control in the world. My husband is in the Air Force, which is how i ended up in the states. We've been married for 2 years and 3 months. His name is christopher, and he just deployed.
i pretend that i am a musician. In truth i play infrequently and im not very good (but dont tell anyone, it would shatter my dreams). i am more tattooed than everyone I associate with in Omaha put together, but thats easy 'cause there's only one tattooed person here that i know, and she has a tiny cookie monster on her shoulder blade (albeit cute). i like granola and yogurt, hot wings, KD, anything thats BBQ'ed, and love to sing along to the radio at the top of my lungs in the car when no one is looking. And, i hate capitalizing the letter i in a sentence when refering to myself, and i rarely use aposrophes.
Well, thats my life in a nutshell. Your turn.

Like i said, i know i dont really open up a whole ton to share personal stuff, especially in this impersonal medium, but, as some of you know, and as i have said, im not really one to discuss things like this, and i felt the need to get this off my chest. So. Yeah, mission accomplished. If any of you all feel like i left something important out.. feel free to make your comments. If you dont, dont. i feel like Ive gotten the therapeutic value that i was looking for.
As always, thanks for reading.


Anonymous said...

hey sweetie,

well, wow! i can't even imagine how you're feeling right now, but i'm guessing overwhelmed might be in there somewhere! how strange it must be to have this abstract idea of a baby somewhere suddenly become flesh...and grownup with a kid and a facebook flesh at that! just remember that it probably feels just as strange and awkward to him as it does to you...he's prolly freaking out about what to say, and the fact that he has an auntie who's like 5 years older than him! it's allowed to feel wierd and awkward...hey, it's family, so i'm pretty sure wierd and awkward is mandatory! (well, that's been MY experience anyways!lol)

keep your chin up baby girl, and just take it as it comes...hmmm, any more psuedo comforting cliches come to mind? umm, it'll all come out in the wash...the sun will come out's always darkest before the dawn? any of these helping? lol didn't think so!

love you, and congrats on the new/late addition to the fam!

<3 kat xxx

Aims said...

Amazing! I think what you said is true from the heart and creates an open door of communication with your Nephew.

Keep us updated!!!