Wednesday, August 30, 2006

And so...

another summer come and gone or going atleast. Ive sepnt the last week making all the arrangements for our next place, which were moving into this friday. Christopher and i are both very excited to be getting our own place, with out a different roomate each week. We were also relieved to find out that when the airforce has orders for thier airmen that force them to change locations they pay for a move for them, 8000 lbs for free. So, that means we dont have to refurnish this place from absolutely nothing like we thought we were going to have to. Christophers mom is being very helpful and is sending a ton of other stuff along with all of his thing, so that is very cool. We still need to get a couch, so dont make any travel plans yet kartmazovs (or oakley). The only hitch for the whole thing is that we have no clue when the stuff is comming. It has to be with in 30 days of the request, and it may be like within a week or 2.. but we really have no idea. Ahh how fun. .. the joy of surprise.

We'll have our new phone and cable and internet all set up by wednesday next week, so ill most likely dissapear friday and ill be back online by wednesday (for those of you who see me on msn -- or those of you who rag on me when i go a day or 2 without blogging -- ahem..oakley, kat). When i return, I imagine ill be even more crazy than i currently am.. being with out any furniture, cable, phone, or internet for 5 days. Those that know me, know that i wont handle that well. It will be alot of long days playing solitare on the laptop. But, the new place is on the other side of the hill that the base is on though, so well be closer to a new town called pacific grove. than we are to monterey though technically were still in monterey. Anyways... ill have a new "city" to go check out.

On a different note.. i thought id give you all another fart update, as i know how entertaining fart humor is to my classy friends. Christopher and i went to rent a movie from the local place we go to, a small store with three different rooms for different types of movies. We were in the action section, a tiny little room off the main room, just me Christopher and some random asian man... Christopher was hanging out in the doorway, i was on the other side of him, and the guy was on the other side of me, not but 3 feet away. Christopher FARTED!! I mean he really let one rip too! The man looked up wide eyed at me, and then quickly back at the wall of movies. I looked over to Christopher, to give him hell... and he wasnt there!! I then realized that he slipped out the door way as soon as he did it, leaving the little asian man to think that it was I that cut the cheese!.... man i could have died. I literally ran out of the little action movies room (where all the action was that night) and into the comedy room where Christopher was hiding (the little comedian that he thinks he is), seriously enjoying his little prank -- laughing his little ass off. I could have killed him. Whats worse is i had to go back into the action room to get the movie i wanted and the man was still in there. I didnt even look to see if he looked up at us the second time -- i just ran in and out -- movie in hand. Anyway, im begining to think that maybe that the Fart Man really is Christopher. Arent i lucky to have such a witty man? har har har...

Saturday, August 26, 2006

better late than never

OK.... for some strange reason the beach pics from like forever ago are finally uploading (and ive tried like 4 billion times). This is the beach up a ways from my place, like a 15 minute drive north. And just on the other side of that sand cliff is a strip mall, and a highway. Its so strange to have something so beautiful by something so .. urban.

Here is the picture of the parasailer or glider or whatever the hell theyre called.
Cool eh?

I want to try it, but I dont think christopher is a big fan of that idea.

And those are some of the pictures of the beach. I got a new camera for my birthday (thanks mom), so im guessing the next few posts will be picture happy. Providing i can get this uploading thing to work again.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

There is no such thing as coincidences

You know, ive never been one to get wrapped up with conspiracy theories, and yet id never ignore one either. My friend Tom brings up an interesting point about the ass picker being the fart guy. A few weeks ago in the gym, christopher and I were walking down the hall to the stairs, and we heard this random PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. I have no clue who did it, we didnt see the culprit as we were already turning on to the stairway. I didnt really think much of it at that time, but last week when we were at the movies, just as the lights were dimming, yes.. you got it, another nasty PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. In the gym's weight room just on this past monday, im lifting weights so i cant turn around... and what do i hear? ohhh yeah.... PFFFFFFFFFFFT. Some one with terrible gas is following me. As this moment I have officially named him "Fart Man". He is a super hero with only one super power -- he can clear a room in under 3 seconds.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

"hit that racket ball with that racket"

Hello blog land people. Ive been trying to motivate myself to blog for a while now, and just havent been able to pull it off. When im out and about something remotely funny will happen, and ill say "oooo when i get home im going to blog about that" but of course i never do. For instance, one afternoon last week, christopher and i were at the gym, we were walking down the hall from the weight room to the stairs to leave. The hall has racket ball courts on one side of it, and people occasionally stand out in the hall watching the games... as it was this day. The hall is fairly long, about 4 or 5 racket ball courts long, and as we were leaving there was a man at the last court watching intently as 2 army boys hammered the little ball against the back wall. He was fairly far away, but not so far that I couldnt tell he was doing something to his ass, that he probably shouldnt be doing. As i got closer i could tell that he was attempting to dislodge his underwear from his butt. He had on those short shorts gym shorts, and had his hand up the side/back of them, digging away. Right as we got up to him, he realised he wasnt alone in the hallway, right at the same time he had his hand over his poop shoot. I mean.. seriously.. it was right back there. He looked at us, in shock.. and then back at the court and then back at us and said in an encouraging type chant to the payers behind the glass that cant hear him "ummm hit that racket ball with that racket". He continued to chant this more than obvious goal of the game to players that couldnt hear him until we passed and were up the stairs and out of ear shot. Now.. dont get me wrong. Im all about the comfort, AND im a female, so i know about uncomfortable undies all too well.. but for god sakes people... go OUTSIDE your clothes to adjust your self. OUTSIDE.

So, Ni has left for her vacation, and wont be back until after i leave. I WAS looking forward to having the house to ourselves.. ya right. Her house guest is away for this week, because Ni invited some one to sublet her room for this week. Then of course the house guest is comming back. so.. no time alone. The new roomate is very chatty. When she isnt chatting me up, or christopher.. her cell phone is glued to her head. Seriously, yesterday, I was helping Christopher with his homework, and she comes out and starts asking random questions about the DLI (the language base). If that wasnt enough, later, when christopher was sleeping, and i was doing some sit ups she comes out to go to the bathroom, but instead sees me doing situps and says "ooo i should do that, excersize really makes you feel good... how many do you do.. i took a salsa class once, you really have to use your Abs for that..." and on and on.. i seriously didnt say a thing, i mean im counting to 100, and im somewhere around 50, i dont want to stop, or god forbid lose count. But, its a condundrum right, cause i dont want to listen to her either. Then of course my mean side comes out, and my mind starts wandering...and all i can think is "put your money where your mouth is fatty and excerize if it feels soo good" or "how do you know what excersize feels like blimpo..your one salsa lesson?" Man, im glad i dont say horrible things like that. Im sure its bad enough that i think them, but.. its been well established im already going to hell -- so whats it matter.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

i almost died

So, i woke up today... earlier than most days, and any one that really knows me well knows that i like my sleep. The more the better, and when its cut short, im really just not very nice at all. I rolled over, me and Christopher shared a nice little morning breath kiss, then some how miss coordinated our movements, and i SMOKED my nose on the back of his head so hard that i saw stars. I should have known then... but im a trooper so, i got up and tried to start breakfast. After trying to interact for a short 5 minutes i decided it would probably be a better idea (for me and the rest of the world) if i just went back to bed. So.. fully clothed in my SFU sweats -- hoodie drawn as far over my head as it would go, to try to cut out some light -- i went back to sleep. I got up a short hour later, with a splitting headache, and massive pain in my left eye. I went to the mirror, i was sure that i had hit my face so hard that i had a black eye, but thank god i didnt.. it was just the tiniest bit swollen. So.. i got up, made breakfast... the day was progressing much better with my second try at it, but my eye was seeming to get worse and worse. I took an extra strength advil, and layed down for a bit, and took a nap (sleep -- the cure for everything). I woke up, feeling much better the third time around now, and we got ready and went to go see the new Robin Williams movie, the night listener. I should have known that it was going to suck, just by my morning. OK, it didnt suck, but i was dissapointed. Thats a different story though, im telling a story about how i almost died. Dont you get me off track. OK.. where was i... Ohh yeah, ok so.. after the movie, my eye was reallly starting to hurt again.. my nose was starting to run.. i felt like i had a fever.. i thought maybe i was getting the flu or something. By the time we got home, it felt like i was gunna die.
I laid on the couch and considered going to sleep yet again, and seeing if a fourth try to the day may help my circumstances, but i just got an advil instead. I sat back down, took off my hoodie, and like a minute later, Christopher pointed at something on the carpet beside me and my hoodie and said "look". I looked.. it was a BEE.. a dead bee! He picked it up and threw it out, and you know what the fucker was missing? You got it kids, his stinger.. and you know where it was? Yup you guess it again, it was in my fucking bottom eye lid, like a millimeter from my eye. My hero pulled out the stinger, and it felt better right away... dont get me wrong.. it still hurts like hell.. but it doesnt feel like im going to die anymore atleast. So, im left wondering, when did the bee sneak into my hoodie? How did he sting me without me noticing? Would he have stung me if i didnt go back to bed? The only answer i could come up with is "damn, i hate bees".

Friday, August 11, 2006

oh yeah

in my angry rant i forgot to actually post some of the other things i wanted to. For instance... as requested.. here are a few pics from the beach last weekend. The sand cliffs are cool, and a popular place for these parachute people go.. parasailing? i dunno what its called -- but i sure wanna try it. I saw them the day my plane landed, and ive wanted to do it ever since.

On another note, i also wanted update my links page to add this True stories blog i read. Its got some pretty crazy stories posted on it... and the guy is a good writer. IF for some reason i cant figure out how to update my side bar links, here is his blog address

I guess thats about it folks. Now if i can just get these damn pics to upload im outta here.

Time to elaborate

Man, have you ever wished that other things besides merchandise had a 30 day back return policy? I want my old roomate back, the exchange was a rip off! Shes been here less than a week, and already there are panties hanging in the bathroom, shes moved all my stuff off the sink counter to make room for her facial creams and cleansers and crap. She used metal silverwear in my nonstick tephlon pots. She's using my spices, cooked with my honey, eaten my noodles (because they were "chinese noodles, so i thought they werent yours") she has a house guest thats here for an undertermined amount of time.. who is going to stay here while Ni is out of town. This morning the 2 of them were doing jazzercise on the shared deck we have out side our bedrooms at 8AM!!! Our deck has a gravel top layer, so, the sound was reminescent of nails on a chalk board for me -- a horrible gritty grinding. And one of the most frustrating things, though i dont know why it is... is she opened a thing of hand soap that my old roomate gave to me. You know how those pump bottles need to be cracked open, like how you need to twist the pump for it to pop out and you can use it? Well the bitch popped my pump and used my soap. It seems like one of the most petty of things that she has done to be mad about, but god.. im MAD. Christopher has urged me to say something to her about all of it.. and if i was living here for a long term period with her i would have to say something, but as it is i think ill just turn a blind eye, and blog as relieve to my anger. Contrary to popular belief i hate confrontation (unless whiskey is involved -- hence why i dont drink anymore). So, i dont really want to be all confrontational if i can avoid it. I mean im only here for 20 more days. I think i may have gotten the point across today when they were jazzercising, and i ripped my blinds back, and glared at them menacingly, in my pajamas, my morning hair sticking up every which way. Last night, i set up camp in the living room, watching TV till the wee hours of the morning so her house guest would be forced to sleep in her room. I staked my territory and I won that battle. So.. yeah.. thats my experience with my new roomate Ni so far. Its a good thing i watch so many crime drama shows where the murderer always gets caught because of forensic evidence or this chick would already be somewhere pushing up daisies.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

long time no blog

hello my blog readers.. it feels like forever since ive posted anything. Things are good here in sunny california -- actually sunny for a change. Speaking of change -- im in the midst of a roomatge change over. Im trading in my chinese roomie for another chinese roomie. I wanted an upgrade, but in the end decided Id stay with the same model, just something a little newer, and maybe with out the defective bowels. My new roomates name is Nee or Ni im not sure how she spells it, but everytime i say it I have to fight the urge to chant "We are the knights who go NEE". So far i have been successfull but really its only a matter of time. Speaking of moving... yes its that time, my sublet is running out at the end of the month, so Ive been apartment huntung. Christ i thought it was expensive to live in vancouver -- it doesnt even come close to some of the rents ive seen here. But, I think weve found a place, and its only a 5 minute walk from base, and has a fantastic view of the bay. I think we'll take it, if only because its the only one weve seen for under 1000$. We spent almost all of last weekend at the beach, it was phenomenal (besides the dead bird i almost stepped on when we were playing frisbee). I got some pics here that ill load up sooner than later. Well.. i guess thats all i have to say for now... thanks for all your comments everyone! Miss you all lots - t -

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Im going to hell

OK, against better judgment, im posting about a dream i had last night. It was one of those crazy realistic epic dreams, that leave you more tired that not when you wake up, but as with many dreams I have forgotten most of the details already. So.. yeah.. im stalling. I feel guilty about this dream -- horrified really -- and didnt want to tell anyone, but, ugh.. yeah ok here it goes. I had this dream last night that i rolled a dude in a wheel chair out into the street, his chair tipped over, where i then proceeded to leap on him, kicking the crap out of him.. and like, were talking a classic east van beating, not a whimpy chick-hair pulling-slapping beating. In the dream, the dude was sinister -- a truely evil man, though now i cant remember what it was that he did that made him so evil. But it was one of those dreams where only you know that the person was a bad person, everyone else just sees you rolling a helpless man into oncomming traffic and giving him the beating of his life.