"if you were my neighbour, i wouldnt like you very much either"

So... were finally starting to meet people in the building, but i think i liked it better before. We've had this ongoing saga thatsbrewing with the guy who lives upstairs that raged this weekend to the point of calling the police. I guess i should start at the begining... douglas is about 60 he is bald on top and has a HUGE mustash to make up for it. Ive never trusted anyone with a big mustash -- if you ask me theyre hiding something, besides their upper lip. Anyway.... douglas drinks wine. Alot of wine from what i can tell. He also doesnt seem to go to work. If he does work, its not until after noon, so he can stay up fairly late. Douglas also hates our building manager. I mean hate with a capital H. We have a leak in our bathroom comming from his bathroom, and hes been refusing to let the manager in to his place to fix it. Douglas is also the type of guy that corrects you if you call the building manager the landlord. It really irks him. Douglas is close to 60 and has been living here for 30 years. Thats half of his life drinking and carrying on with loud voices as he does. Douglas likes to get his freak-on with his girlfriend in the wee hours of the morning/night. I dont mind an active social life, as long as i dont have to hear it but.. hes got this squeek in his bed that is loud enough to wake both Christopher and myself out of a deep sleep. He also likes to get his freak on in the tub (believe me i know cause i can hear it), but i believe thats how the leak ended up destroying our ceiling. OK..so.. the story goes like this. Douglas has either kept me and C up, or woken us more than half of the days/nights weve been here so far. This place has thin walls and floors, but like good neighbours we've been biting our tongues. Well, the other night douglas had a lady friend over. They stayed up late drinking (or i assume they were cause youd have to be drunk to hang out with douglas)... so first it was the same crap as always.. loud voices, music.. till after we went to bed.. well till after C was able to fall asleep. I laid there staring at the ceiling where i listened to them walk to the bathroom where they proceeded to have a bath and get funky. It was truely gross -- between the swishing of the water, the squeeking on the bottom of the tub, or the constant Drip drip dripping of their sex water trickling down onto my bathroom floor -- i thought i was going to puke. Finally they quieted down enough for me to fall asleep...not for long of course. We were both woken up by the perverts squeeking bed.. We laid there for a bit.. trying to decide what to do.. but i mean, his bed is LOUD. You could hear it all.. and we really didnt want too. After 2 weeks of his shit, and the fact that Christopher had to get up at 5:30 (it was after 1am by this point) this was the straw that broke the cammels back. Christopher stood straight up in the bed, and gave a sturdy knock on the ceiling at the fornicators. They stopped... for like 2 minutes, and then started back up like nothing had happend. The next day i was home alone.. and douglas was making a ton of noise upstairs. Well.. we had just gotten our computer speakers all hooked up, all 5 of them with a bass box and all. So..every time douglas got loud, i turned up the music. I can play that game.. Anyway, he never came to talk to me or anything... instead he waited until later that night (thank god C was there - or it may have gotten realllly ugly) he came down and knocked on our door. We answered and he said.. ."did i offend you last night"? we said.. "well it wasnt offensive persay but you were keeping us up so i thought id let you know.."
"well id appreciate it if you didnt do that again, its very rude".. we said something about how we dont enjoy listening to him, that hes kept us up more nights than not.. it kinda went back and forth for a bit.. with him getting a bit more beligerant as the conversation went on. Finally, he says.. well im flattered i keep you up, im old enough to be your father. And i quickly say, "ya, but that doesnt mean you get to talk to us like you are, maybe you should come back and we'll discuss this when your not drunk". Well. He sure didnt like that. He started ranting "well stick a finger in your dimple" He headed up the stairs to his place, we closed the door. It wasnt even but 2 minutes that he was back knocking on our door. C opened it, and he started threating to call the cops on us, and that if he did C "would get kicked out of his school and sent to iraq" and then of course ranted some more about my dimples. We got our landlord (sorry... our BUILDING MANAGER) to call the cops... who came promply as they have delt with douglas more than once in the past. They took our statements first, where i pretended to almost cry, accusing him of harrassing us (a cute, nice young military couple) by saying C was going to die in iraq, and that he wanted to touch me inappropriatly. I have to admit, hollywood needs to discover me. Anyway... they went up to douglas' place, where he then tried convince the cops he was right.. and the cops didnt like that. The one thats delt with him before actually said "if i was your neighbour i woudnt like you very much either". As far as im concerned that was the victory right there.